Understanding Sociopaty
This is an unfiltered look into sociopathy from an Ex-sociopath.
This is my story and understanding of sociopath from a inside perspective. My story began with an extremely volatile childhood and continued for decades before coming to a very un-screeching halt.
It was then and will forever be, a daily fight. The brain is complex. Learn how and why sociopathy has been under addressed, misdiagnosed, exploited and allowed to thrive.
This is a raw account of what precipitated my sociopathy, my interpretation of it, my life with it and the road to escaping it.
What is a sociopath?
The clinical definition of a sociopath is: a person who exhibits antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), characterized by a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. This condition is marked by behaviors and attitudes that include a lack of empathy, deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability, aggression, and a failure to conform to social norms.
My Story
I am not a doctor. My education in psychology, sociology or any mental behavioral related field, does not exist. This is not medical advice. It’s a detailed account of my sociopathy. It’s origin, mutation into the monster I became, it’s destruction of me and my plight back to humanity.
Although I have no degree, I have over 40 years of experience with this disease. I am overqualified to speak on the subject matter. This blog is not based on any medical standards or affiliated with any medical officials. It is everything I know to be true based on years of experience, observations, studying, conversations and education.
Everything you read here about me is true. 100% all my life. Most of my experiences were filled with negativity, detriment and violence. Inside and out of the home. This is where most sociopathy is accelerated. It usually begins either congenitally, via genetics or transferred through horrible parenting.
For me, it was both. Both my parents were sexually, physically, spiritually, verbally and due to poverty; financially abused. All before they became adults. These inflicted traumas are administered to millions of people daily and the results are catastrophic in relation to the human psyche and our sustainability.
The Brain is a marvelous organ, exceptional in its innumerable capabilities and its unlimited capacity for storage. It also, like every functional living organism, has its own method of self-preservation. In the presence of trauma, shock or intense impact/activity, the brain automatically protects itself. This is a temporary function to help you prevent sever damage to it. Long term trauma causes this function to “lock”, limiting the brain’s ability to mature along with the body.
Sociopathy is one of many derivatives of this “lock.” My parents never got a chance to understand this, thus, they never got to unlock their trauma. I was fortunate enough to crack my code to psychological freedom. My only hope is that I help someone do the same. It is difficult but everything worthwhile is. You can do it. I believe in you.
M. Jai Jenkins
10 BOOKS ON SOCIOPATHY
Are you a sociopath?
Of course, not…right? I would beg to differ. Everything is on a spectrum, including mental disorders. The misconception is that sociopaths are psychos. If you’re the victim of one, you’ll think they are as well, but it’s not that simple. In fact, sociopathy is a very intricate web that has many variables and contingences.
They key to understanding sociopathy, is understanding that the prefix socio– means the same thing that it means in society, socialize, social media, and socioeconomics. It describes how we interact or socialize with others.
There is a standard protocol and basic level of measurement for all human interactions. Anything below is delayed, retarded or usually referred to as disabled or with disability. Those above this level, are the advanced, skilled, experts or the professionals. This is applicable to every standard we are measured by in life.
Most of us, due to trauma, violence, poor education, poverty, genetics or substance; actually, fall below this line. We produce sociopaths at 25x the rate we produce scholars in this world. More people are introverted, antisocial, recluse, and apathetic to issues that affects others than ever before. We record other people’s worst moments for views. Nothing is more sociopathic than that.
See where you are. Learn more from an exsociopath.
If you or someone you know suffers from sociopathy, please seek help.
narcissist: What is a narcissist?
Highly OVER-USED word or misunderstood individual?
Learn more about what a naRCISSIST is and isn’t.
The most over used and misunderstood word online momentarily is narcissist. It’s a full onslaught of fingers being pointed to showcase these behaviors and characteristics of a narcissist. But most of it lacks a lot of logic, truth and morals. Which is wrong on many levels. To better understand why we’re looking at this, as well as dealing with it all wrong; first let’s understand what a narcissist is and trust me, it’s not what you think it is.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition marked by persistent patterns of grandiose self-perception, a deep-seated need for admiration and acknowledgment, and a deficit in empathy toward others. Individuals with NPD tend to view themselves as above others, possess an exaggerated belief in their talents and successes, and may manipulate others for personal gain. These traits usually manifest in early adulthood and are evident across different settings, such as in intimate relationships, professional environments, and social engagements.
Key characteristics of a sociopath include:
- Lack of Empathy: Sociopaths often have a diminished ability to understand or share the feelings of others. This makes it difficult for them to form genuine emotional connections.
- Deceitfulness: They frequently lie, manipulate, and deceive others for personal gain or pleasure.
- Impulsivity: Sociopaths tend to act on the spur of the moment without considering the consequences of their actions. This can lead to reckless and risky behaviors. This is a fine line to me. Risky or reckless behavior is very relative. Its interpretation is affected by lifestyle, education and religion. I wouldn’t list this entirely as a criteria for sociopathy. Some people just don’t fit in. Sociopathic behaviors may include multiple partners; unprotected and often, strangers. Other behaviors include implicating innocent people in crimes or manipulating naive victims into committing crimes.
“Due to experiencing more violent trauma, women are slightly more inclined to be a sociopath then men.”
- Irritability and Aggressiveness: They may exhibit a quick temper and a tendency to engage in physical fights or assaults. This again, is too vague and too broad a net to cast this behavior to sociopathy. All of our moods fluctuate. One person who appears to have a short fuse, can be at the end of their rope. Yes, those early into sociopathy can be moody, irritable, inconsistent and aggressive. Alternating personalities, yes. Irritability, no. It’s too common.
- Disregard for Safety: They often take unnecessary risks and show a lack of concern for their own safety and the safety of others. Yes. Sociopaths of all levels will sacrifice you or anyone else in the blink of an eye. Your safety, time, money, resources and life are expendable to them. They’ll drive at high speeds, hide drugs/illegal items in your home or near your kids, “joke” with guns or knives, get you evicted, fired or arrested. They’ll do it all and blame you.
- Consistent Irresponsibility: Sociopaths may repeatedly fail to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. Vaguely true. The jobs titles with the highest probabilities of sociopaths include Judge, Lawyer, Doctor, Law enforcement, Politician and C.E.O. All usually long-term careers, which contradicts this characteristic drastically. Sociopaths are in every field and vary from one extreme to the other. The highly functional sociopaths that will administer the most damage in your life, is the anthesis of this or they’ve found a way to obscure it.
Taking selfies or recording during an emergency or someone dying, with no empathy or notion to help; is sociopathic.
- Lack of Remorse: They typically show little or no remorse for the harm they cause to others. You can cry, present evidence, have them witness your downfall or be on your death bed; they still will never be sorry. They may say it, but it’s only to pacify you. Guilt never enters the equation of how they reason. They berate you in public. Push you down or empty your account and won’t feel remorse.
Conclusion
Sociopathy, undeniably, is a condition that stems from severe trauma without a typical response. It leads some to madness, others to depend on medication for stability, and some to take their own lives or develop psychopathic tendencies. Many turn to addiction, alcoholism, depression, bipolar disorder, or regress entirely. Some appear normal until a trigger causes them to snap. Sociopaths are embedded within our society, and it is known that many past and present influential leaders and decision-makers are sociopathic, which may be why this issue will never be addressed more rigorously.
Exsociopath.com aims to help understand the intricacies and variances of sociopathy. This is not medical advice and is not intended to replace your therapist, counselor, or any professional help you may need. This is an informative, autobiographic explanation of sociopathy from an ex-sociopath.
How to spot a sociopath:
self-centered
Everything is about them. Even your victories. Mention a positive for you, they’ll uno reverse it and make it about them. They won’t cheer for you, celebrate you, promote you or ever put you on a pedestal. It might give you more attention than them, which they can’t endure. Not even for a minute. The selfish nature of a sociopath transcends through every layer of their life and is imposed into every emotional state.
Example
When someone dies, they won’t celebrate their life; they simply use the death as a springboard to dive into talking about themselves. They’ll share pictures of them both, talk about what they did for the person, how the death affects them. They’ll even pretend to cry and ask, “what am I going to do now”, while ignoring the person’s children and spouse who are without a provider.
NEVER WRONG
It’s always someone else fault. Even when they were alone. They have an excuse before they have a problem, which is why their lies seem so natural. In the event the pressure gets too much, they either gaslight you, blame you or become the ultimate victim. They will spare no expense, behavior, language or lies; to stay clear of accountability.
EXAMPLE
You ask them to give you a ride to a job interview. Everyone knows that is an important event. They may show up late to get you, stop along the route or maybe never even show up. In every scenario, it’ll be an excuse. They’ll say you didn’t call to wake them; you didn’t seem in a rush, they needed gas… the list is endless. It’ll be your own fault before they say it’s theirs. In fact, if they do “apologize”; it’s a disingenuous, gun to my head kinda half ass apology.
THEY’re PERFECT
Sociopaths are great chameleons. They can be whoever they need to be in that moment, to gain whatever advantage they seek. There is no moral code, principal or values as a guide. Their mind is objective first, so whatever you’re seeking is what they become. They can switch religions, lifestyles and personalities like most people switch outfits. To get what they want; they will be everything you want.
EXAMPLE
When you state all the things you desire in a mate, they don’t just take note; it’s who they embody. If you’re a Christian, they are too. You eat healthy, they do too. You fantasize about visiting a particular island or country, they’ve been there. They mirror anything that excites you or that you’re passionate about. Your enthusiasm blinds you from seeing the truth. Distracted by the excitement that someone likes what you like, they exploit that weakness to gain your trust.
a SUPERHERO
In real life, they appear to be. They have many gifts, and they seem to be able to do everything. They swope into your life and seem to fix all your problems or promise to. Sociopaths are critical thinkers. They pathology requires a mixture of improvisation, with some pre-calculated moves to build on later. In their own mind, they are superheroes too. Their doubt in self appears nonexistent. Not that they’re super confident, most aren’t, but they are bold risk takers who thrive on pulling off the impossible.
EXAMPLE
You lack funds for something specific, they’ll happen to have monies laying around they don’t need. You always wanted to go to a Broadway show, they can get tickets. Every aspect of your life where you seem to lack or need something, they appear like a superhero and save the day. Even where discussing themselves, they always end up the hero. They save the day, even in stories where they had no authority. The sociopath sees themselves with a cape on.
Detached
Sociopaths aren’t human when it comes to separating themselves from emotional attachment. They can know you for decades and still have no feeling of guilt for what they do to you. That mechanism designed in normal humans to allow us to empathize, has been deleted from their emotional database.
EXAMPLE
Romance Schemes. Spouses who kill for insurance money (part psycho too). Con Artist. People who cut you off or alienate you when they don’t get what they want from you. The list goes on. Sociopaths were never attached. They are only there to benefit. If you cut those benefits or their path to their agenda; they will abandon you. They are loyal to themselves. Don’t take it personally, it is a mental illness.
The term “sociopath” originated in the early 20th century and is derived from the Latin word “socius,” meaning companion or associate, and the Greek word “pathos,” meaning suffering or disease.
People listed as sociopaths shouldn’t be singled out, made fun of or looked at different.
Professions more prone to sociopaths
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